A day of disparate emotions. There is a feeling I've had 4 times in my life, and one was yesterday. Traditional delivery of chemo isn't enough, so they distribute it straight to his spinal fluid. During that process they look at his fluid; clear is good. It was not clear the very first time only, in May, meaning there were tumor cells. Everything about yesterday morning was awry; late arrival, Louie was exhausted, Doctors were traveling, a shaky replacement, it was taking soooo long at the hospital and the fluid was yellow. Dammit. The feeling. This tingly, warm numbness drowning me. Okay, go from there; a fairly average day...Lunch, Lego's, etc.. His former science teacher even dropped off a monarch caterpillar for us to foster and found monarch eggs in our butterfly garden she helped orchestrate (along with his friends). And then the email that they didn't see tumor cells and aren't sure what happened and to just to be on the lookout for a fever. The apprehension that consumed me secretly all day was gone. A wicked reminder. So, in our day of extremes we spent hours before bedtime merrily brainstorming Louie's new concept that will.....well....let's just say it's an absolute unique donut experience. Now, if I could only get him to try one.